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As my neighbor took the card, he smiled awkwardly and opened it. On the cover was a picture of a girl holding a sign that said ‘Happy Birthday Dad!’ My neighbor was puzzled and cautiously opened to the card which she instructed him to read aloud. He cleared his throat, ‘After all you are the one I have to thank for making me your daughter, because if I was your son, I’d be a real bastard.’ She then crossed out Happy Birthday to replace it with, ‘Cat’s Fuck Toy’. He stopped trying to understand what he was reading. ‘Go on,’ Lovely insisted. ‘As Cat likes you a lot, I do too. It’s a good thing that I’m into sharing. Kindly Yours, Lovely’ ‘She’s mine,’ Lovely stated firmly. ‘Just so you know I had her first so if I want her this weekend I’m taking her. It’s my birthday.’ Lovely then had to add, ‘It’s not like she’s going to have your cum all up in her or anything so we should be good.’ I smacked her ass really hard in disapproval because I knew he would not know what to make of it. I. Throughout my many years of dedicated, unselfish, empathetic advice-giving I have received mailbags overflowing with heart-rending letters of turmoil from wives and those blessed creatures who have been deemed fortunate enough to call themselves 'wife lovers' and today I am going to give that bottle a good shake, release the stopper, and see what sticky, thick and delicious liquid comes spurting forth. So, without any further 'much ado about nothing', and definitely not pausing to point out the awfulness of the metaphor I've crowbarred into this paragraph, let's go 'to the letters'. Dear CummiesSex is great, but my husband can't give me the emotional support I need. Sometimes, you just need a hug and he seems incapable of doing such a simple thing. It's one of his few shortcomings.Please advise,Mrs GodzillaDear Mrs GodzillaNow, this is one of the problems that bedevil even the most perfect of relationships. Day after day you find yourself upside down hanging from the garden swing,.
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